just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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