i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
