ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
