i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we're making bets on your personal life
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
