friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
