You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
