when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize