i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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