Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I currently don't understand fingers.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
