i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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