google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
