im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
His nipple licking is glorious
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