I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
