If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
