Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize