All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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