STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
