dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
