Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
