the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
