a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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