It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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