Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
