It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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