I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize