Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
