i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
