what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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