i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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