ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The uberlube is also flammable
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
