Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
