i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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