BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We have started to decorate penises.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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