I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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