Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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