he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
