I showed him my bush... on skype.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
