you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
