I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
