Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Shame - the story of my life.
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