Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im holly from the hills drunk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
