I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
