so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Someone came in the potted fern
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
