Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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