You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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