No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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