Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
