I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
North Korea, Best Korea!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
false alarm. still invincible.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
