i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize