i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
