youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
