I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
