Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
