Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
