It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
