I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
