I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
