I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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