You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
