is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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