i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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