I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
