I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
