If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
