How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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