I'm sorry my penis didn't work
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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