Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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